30 D A Z E

So... allow me to start with a story... I will quote directly from the book "Everyday Holiness" by Alan Morinis starting on page 15 and I quote... "When asked how he had had such an impact as a great sage and leader in the twentieth-centruy Jewish world, the Chafetz Chaim answered, 'I set out to try to change the world, but I failed. So i decided to scale back my efforts and only try to influence the Jewish community of Poland, but I failed there, too. So I targeted the community in my hometown of Radin, but achieved no greater success. Then I gave all my effort to changing my own family, and failed at that as well. Finally, I decided to change myself, and that's how I had such an impact on the Jewish world.' "... end quote.

I have spent the better part of my adult life trying desperately to "change the world." When I reflect back to my 23rd year on earth, I realize that when I reached my end and decided to live for something outside of myself, that moment, that decision, that one choice 15 years ago branded me or scarred me so deeply and so profoundly that I have been on the quest to change the world ever since. At least I thought that's what I was doing... in reality though... I have only been effective at changing myself. I am not who i was 15 years ago.

Time won't allow me to go into detail... but to put it simply... the world is a better place without the "old Roman" around. Oh sure... if i put myself on a large enough timeline or compared myself to the whole of human history, there would be worse offenders to the human race than who I use to be. However, the point is not to justify my actions next to more evil men... my point is simply that I set out to change the world and in the process... I changed and thus I have made the world a better place by simply not remaining who i once was. I've yet to cure cancer, write a book that brings hope, feed thousand of starving people in third world countries. But I have wrestled with my self-centeredness, I have learned how to respect my elders and open the door for women and children. I have learned to smile at strangers and say "please" and "thank you" to waiters and waitresses as well as cashiers. I have learned to nurture a woman's heart (my wife) and I have learned when to work and when to play (with my children). In learning those things... I have spared the world of my own self-importance. With me out of the way... I think i might have made the world... (at least the small speck that i influence) a better place.

I say all of this to prompt all you rockstars, teachers, pastors, politicians, moms, fathers and factory workers... to question yourself, to ask yourself if the world has become a better place because of you or if your "fame"(..no matter how great or how small...) would be better served becoming a better you? Here's what I mean...

Hollywood is full of "do-gooders" and charities. Millions of dollars are at work because of wealth and fame... but what if "celebrity" became a platform of vulnerability? Instead of being spoiled, addicted, broken, divorced, miserable and "Me focused", what if we used our influence... not matter how small or great... to change our lives, become better and do it openly in front of the whole world? What if we humbly and contritely allowed those we love to see us change from who we were... to who we could be... not for our glory and the pats on the back but so the "perfection factor" could be destroyed and others might in turn live vulnerable lives... not hidden... not secretly addicted to food, drugs, drink, porn or status, but openly honest for the sake of a better you and a better us.

I know what your thinking... the world's not ready for such honesty... however, I think it has to do more with transparency than honesty. To be transparent is to be brave and not hide... which is to live honestly... but I don't believe we owe the world an honest, detailed, explanation of our past. We just need for them to see us currently becoming better... and "being better" is something we can all spot universally. I have never given explanation or excuse for who i once was... i don't need to. It's no one's business. I just decided to go from worm to butterfly in a clear cocoon. Not for glory... but to help my circle be brave and choose to change the world by ridding it of their former selves.

Imagine all the good that could have come from all the dead rockstars... if they would have went social and transparent instead of lonely and hidden. Suicide is not the way to change the world... because we don't live in a vacuum and everything we do effects someone else... so effect them for good.

So how does one begin the process of ridding the world of their former self?

1. Inspect. Is the world a better place because of your actions or are you adding to the noise?
2. Decide. You are worth more to the human cause alive, than dead... so put self-pity and doubt behind you and go for it. Decide to openly be better so your courage will cause others to openly be better.
3. Transform. You must do this outside of yourself... because we are selfish creatures and we all have myopic motives. You have to realize life is about others and not just yourself and the point of transparency is "others" motivated. You will never truly see transformation if you don't see yourself or at least certain attributes of yourself as part of the problem. (This is a great place to add that I am personally always in process of change and improvement... this is a lifelong process for me... I will continue to change the world by openly and transparently ridding myself of things that promote darkness and evil in the world and in others)

Some practical advice: Since you have the rest of your life...

• Pick one thing at a time. Pick one habit you would like to start or one you would like to REPLACE, not quite... (because idleness is the devils's playground)
• Once you pick something... dedicate 30 days to it. Health, diet, exercise, foul language, manipulating people, frowning, etc. (be sure to replace bad habits with good... don't just stop bad habits)
• If you fail... don't hide... your courage will foster hope in others.
• NOW GO!